The Burden of Reality

From the depths I call to you, Yahweh,
Lord, listen to my cry for help!
Listen compassionately
to my pleading!

If you never overlooked our sins, Yahweh,
Lord, could anyone survive?
But you do forgive us:
and for that we revere you.

I wait for Yahweh, my soul waits for him,
I rely on his promise,
my soul relies on the Lord
more than a watchman on the coming of dawn.

Let Israel rely on Yahweh
as much as the watchman on the dawn!
For it is with Yahweh that mercy is to be found,
and a generous redemption;
it is he who redeems Israel
from all their sins.
(Psalm 130)

An excerpt from "Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life", by Henri Nouwen
"The Burden of Reality
Can we carry the burden of reality? How can we remain open to all human tragedies and aware of the vast ocean of human suffering without becoming mentally paralyzed and depressed? How can we live a healthy and creative life when we are constantly reminded of the fate of the millions who are poor, sick, hungry, and persecuted? How can we even smile when we keep being confronted by pictures of tortures and executions?

...

Maybe, for the time being, we have to accept the many fluctuations between knowing and not knowing, seeing and not seeing, feeling and not feeling, between days in which the whole world seems like a rose garden and days in which our hearts seem tied to a millstone, between moments of ecstatic joy and moments of gloomy depression, between the humble confession that the newspaper holds more than our souls can bear and the realization that it is only through facing up to the reality of our world that we can grow into our own responsibility. Maybe we have to be tolerant toward our own avoidances and denials in the conviction that we cannot force ourselves to face what we are not ready to respond to and in the hope that in one future day we will have the courage and strength to open our eyes fully and see without being destroyed. All this might be the case as long as we remember that there is no hope in denial or avoidance, neither for ourselves nor for anyone else, and that new life can only be born out of the seed planted in crushed soil. Indeed God, our Lord, 'will not scorn this crushed and broken heart' (Ps 51:17)"

I feel like these words express so perfectly the questions that have been eating away at my heart from the moment my eyes were opened to the world beyond my suburban circle of privilege. I often feel like Darcy, thinking that if I chose to care about one thing with great passion, I would have to care about ALL things with the same vigor, zeal, and commitment. Well that's just not true. God is doing a work in me, and it is not yet complete, but He will follow it through to completion.

There is still more yet to be revealed. There is still yet more to be created. There is still yet more to be experienced.