If you bake it, they will come...

So first of all, I really want to thank all of you for your support (this whole past year, this past month, and this past week...). Your encouraging words have been a blessing. Thank you for your sincerity, thank you for your love, thank you for your prayers.

I have made a commitment to being honest in what I write to all of you, and I think this is important because I want to give an accurate and honest picture of what it is like to be here, specifically through the lens through which I see it. I have explained to my sisters on various occasions that sometimes, I'm reluctant to share some of the harder things because I don't want people to worry or to think that I am miserable here. But I DO want to share the hard stuff because, just like the good stuff, it is part of the experience. So, as I share, good and bad, it is not indicative necessarily of how life is in general at the time of the post.

That being said, thanks again for all your support and love in response to my last post. For me, it's scary to be vulnerable like that and share what's actually going on in my heart... so it was encouraging to receive encouragement and not panic.

_________ .. _________ .. _________ .. _________ .. _________

I've always heard so many sayings about feeding people and making them happy--"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"and "An army runs on its stomach"...

I'm adding to that repertoire this quote: "If you bake it, they will come."

Here in Mexico, Casey and I are finding that food is one of the easiest ways to connect with people and "break the ice". The women here really don't bake, and whenever we make something, they are sure to tell us that they don't know how to bake. So when we make cookies, or muffins with the overripe bananas we have, or Mom's specialty carrot cake, the people here are VERY excited about the novel culinary experience of baked desserts!

So Casey and I go to many events armed with cookies or muffins. It is a great way to approach people (offering them something yummy and sweet), and then talking to them if they seem like they want to chat. And now people know that we bake, so they just show up and expect cookies or fun pastries. So, Mom, apparently all those times I made a mess in your kitchen, "playing Betty Crocker", were not a waste... :) And, Thatcher, you can be very jealous that I have already make two batches of the chocolate chip cookies for the people here, and they are enjoying them very much. :)

It has been a fun way to work our way into their hearts and be able to serve them. It has been a little scary, just because the preferred tastes here in Mexico are different than ours in the US. So when I make something, watching people take the first bite and waiting for a reaction is a little nerve-wracking! So far, the reactions have been positive... and they keep coming back to eat our food, so it must not be terrible.

Last night we hosted our first family for dessert and coffee. Pastors Francisco and Isaii and their families came over for Mom's Carrot Cake, Casey's peanutbutter cookies, and coffee. It was a great way to hang out with them and get to know them better. We chatted about a wide spectrum of things, from football, baseball, to how a pastor needs to dedicate himself to ministry to see his church grow.

Casey and I are often struck by how cool Pastor Francisco is, and how that coolness can sometimes be intimidating. He's a great pastor with an amazing heart and vision for his church. It's funny how when you respect someone so much and admire them from what you know and have seen of them, you wind up being nervous to approach them and talk to them. I'm glad we got over this with Francisco, because by NOT talking to him, we're missing out on a great relationship!

So it was nice to finally sit down and talk to him about his church, his experiences, his passions, where he feels God calling him, but to also just talk about silly things like the Mets and the Yankees and the 49ers and the Eagles.

So we shall continue to bake and invite people over. It is rewarding and quite fun... I never thought doing missions would put my baking to the test like this... :o)

the shortest distance

"The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor."
-?

To be perfectly honest, I have really been struggling in the past few days.

I have been struggling to understand exactly where God wants me to be within this ministry down here. I want to serve, but I don't know what it is supposed to look like. I want to encourage the people in the ministries and help them grow, but I don't know what I have to offer.

I have been struggling with a divided heart and divided attentions. My heart is in pieces as we approach the one year anniversary of my brother's death. I am overcome with grief and sadness at random times. I'm torn between being vulnerable with the people here about my struggles and just getting through this time with the support of Casey. I don't want to be dishonest, but I'm afraid the people here won't understand. From what I've seen, they view death very differently and process loss differently.

I have been struggling between being honest with my emotions and holding them back for a more "appropriate time". I am not usually one to cry with other people around, but the past two nights I have wound up in tears at the prayer services.

I have been struggling between helping and being helped. I need to be vulnerable and humble enough to accept support from my Mexican brothers and sisters, but I feel like I have nothing to give them in return.

BUT... oh there is a BUT...

Last night I had a moment of clarity. Up until last night, it was extremely difficult for me to pray alongside my Mexican brothers and sisters because of the way in which they pray. Everyone prays all at once, out loud. I am easily distracted and have not been able to focus my heart in prayer. Up until last night, I would pray in accord with whoever was praying the loudest. But, last night, I knew I needed to pray.

We were all on our knees, everyone was praying, and the process of despairing in my distraction started again. But God got ahold of me and said, "JUST PRAY!". So I started to pray. It felt unnatural and uncomfortable at first, but God focused my heart and I was able to enter into a time of honest prayer.

Praying didn't take away the struggles that are on my heart. Praying didn't heal all the pains I am feeling. BUT clarity came through prayer.

Casey and I have been saying that we want to dedicate more time to pray for the ministry and for God's direction, but it has only been talk. We have not actually gone to God on our knees and asked Him for direction.

As I was laying in bed last night, reflecting on the time of prayer, it suddenly seemed so clear what God was directing me to do: pray for His people, pray for His church, seek His face, and the rest will come when it needs to.

As far as my struggles with my heart and mourning my brother, He has called me to continue to pray about that as well. Pray for His guidance, His healing, His wisdom, His peace. Being honest with God about how I am feeling and what I feel Him doing is a powerful move. We can't hide from God, so why try?

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray." James 5:13

I would ask that you, too, pray for these things. Please pray for the 6 churches down here. Please pray for the ministries. Please pray that God would clearly show us where He wants to use the gifts He has given us.

Please also pray for my heart. Please pray that I do not push emotions aside, but that I find a healthy and appropriate way to mourn my brother while still serving the Lord. In our weakness, God is strong and He will do great things through me in my broken state to bring glory to His name.

Thank you all for your support and prayers. It is encouraging to have people tell us that they are praying for us and know that you TRULY are.

Perhaps this will help...

I just wrote a monstrous e-mail to people who had been asking me questions about life here in Mexico... a lot of basic stuff. I figured a lot of you would like to know the answers to those very same questions, so I am going to put this e-mail up on my blog as well.

I hope this answers a lot of your questions about what we are doing here.

_______ .. _______ .. _______ .. _______ .. _______ .. _______


Well hello there!

So many questions! Haha... Let's see if I can answer them all...

So, tell us more about Maneadero and your new home?

Maneadero is a small town outside Ensenada. It is about a 25 min drive into downtown Ensenada, give or take 10 minutes depending on time of day and traffic. Our "home" is right on the main highway (which very much resembles Rt 38 or 73 for its 4 lanes and plethora of businesses and stores that line the road). Obvioulsy, it looks nothing like Rt 38, but that is the closest comparison I can make. :o)

The poverty here is very much like what we have seen on the border. Some people have houses that are built from cinderblocks and have bars on their windows and such. Further off the highway here in Maneadero, there are many houses that have been put together with plywood and other random things that people can find to make into a house. The closer you get to Ensenada along the highway, the more put together the houses are.

Maneadero has two parts, la parte alta and la parte bajo (the high part and the low part). To me, the high part (which is called such just because it is higher in the mountains) seems to be more impoverished and has less businesses. I have been told, however, that the high part is safer. We live in the high part. The low part is closer to Ensenada and the houses are closer together, there is a soccer field, more gas stations, and apparently more crime and drunks on the streets.

All in all, I feel very safe in Maneadero. Our "home" is called the Segundo Piso (the second floor) because we live on the second floor of a building that doubles as a home and business. It is simple and pretty spacious considering the size of many of the houses here in Maneadero. We are working on getting bars on the windows to make it a little safer, and to prevent theft. Apparently most theft here occurs during the day and people usually suspect that it is an "inside job". So we just have to be careful who we trust. We are the only ones with keys to the Segundo Piso at the moment, so our stuff is safe.

Currently, we aren't actually living in the Segundo Piso. We are living in Rick and Tammie's house, house-sitting for them. Rick and Tammie are the missionaries who work down here. The left for sabbatical the first week in September and will return at the end of October. In their absence, our ministry opportunities are limited, but I will explain all that later. But for right now, we are living in their house, making sure it doesn't get robbed, and keeping an eye on the Segundo Piso as well.

Do you have far to go to work?

Well, in order to answer that question, we have to define "work". Work for us right now is getting to know the pastors in the churches, getting to know their congregations, learn about the ministries and needs in each church and pray about where God would have us work within the context of these six churches. Once Rick and Tammie get back, we will start working alongside them and work more directly with the churches and be more of an active support rather than the semi-disconnected support we offer right now. This is a very loose job description, but it is currently manifesting itself as going to ALL the church services each church has to offer as often as we can and as equally as we can. We are inviting people over for meals and to hang out, hanging out with the pastors and their families, participating and lending a hand with the different ministries they have (for example: Rosi and Ricardo have a good children's ministry, Reynerio does a movie ministry to get people to fellowship, Francisco is leading a Bible Inistute, and Ruben has AWANA going on at his church for youth). We have helped out with nearly all the ministries, but have been asked not to take any leadership roles in any of them at this time. The focus of this mission is to empower and come alongside the Mexican church to build it up, to help them build up leaders in their own church and not fill in gaps with Americans who will be here for a while and then leave. The idea is to help the mexicans take ownership of their own ministries and churches. So, for these reasons, our job right now sounds to be a little "fluffy", but Casey and I are taking it very seriously because we need to earn the trust of the people before we work with them and we also need to understand them and their ministries in order to avoid coming in with the wrong attitude and trying to add or change (all with good intentions) and then ruining everything because we acted before understanding. Training for short-term teams and our jobs while they are here will take place most likely when Rick and Tammie come back at the end of October and we'll probably get on-the-job training as well. So, to answer you question: the chuches we work with are all within a 15 minute drive. Work mostly consists of being at these churches or at the pastors' homes. So, no, work isn't far. haha

We aren't working on that church plant really anymore, or the youth center that was originally supposed to go up because the situation with the pastor has changed since the program was originally created. We are still working with the pastor, Ruben, but the church plant has morphed into a church adoption and the fascility for the youth center is already there, along with a strong congregation that could get it running. We will be helping with it for sure, but it is no longer one of our main focuses. There may be an entirely different youth center project starting up when Rick and Tammie get back, and we are really excited about that, and I would ask that you all pray about that because it is in the preliminary stages and we would love to see this get off the ground.

Is it hot?
Yes... dry and hot. still.... I went through three shirts all in one day... haha

What are the similarities to Acuna? Differences?

It is quite similar to Acuna, really only differing in the fact that we work with 6 churches, and not just one. The people work in factories here, too, and still have a hard time finding work. The tacos here are better.... haha.

The short-term teams are run generally the same. There is a VBS project, there is a construction project, we eat REAL mexican food, prepared by one of the pastors' wives. The construction is usually a house for church members or construction of churches.

VBS is kind of different because they do it differenly according to how many times a group has been back. Tammie told me that they invite groups who have never been here before to plan one good, full day of VBS and we travel to the different neighborhoods with that VBS. Another option is to do it like we have in Acuna, which is stay with one church and do a consecutive VBS throughout the week.

Another differenence is that they do trips Saturday to Saturday. We get to worship with the churches and it is a really cool experience.

Meals are eaten in a Dining Hall (which is actually the Segundo Piso). Most of the time, the pastors join us for meals and their families do as well on occasion. The last night is often dedicated to eating with the families we have served in the construction projects all week.

That's all I can think of right now... haha.

When do you anticipate your first mission team will arrive?

Well, we already worked with two teams. We weren't in charge or specifically leading the teams, but we helped with the many behind the scenes things that need to be done when there are teams here. Our next team is supposed to come over Thanksgiving. Rick and Tammie are currently touring churches in the states and filling our calendar for 2009. We are expecting teams in the beginning of December, January, and a team in February. All those are tentative commitments.


Once again... thank you so much for your continued support and prayers. I'm sorry I haven't e-mailed you all very much so far. I have been busy with services and taking care of business while Rick and Tammie are gone, but also, it is just hard to put all of this into words and explain it all. It is so different from what I had originally expected, and therefore, everything needs to be explained. Haha... I was praying before I came that God would keep me flexible because, going into this, I knew life never works out exactly as we plan it to. God has been faithful and has kept us flexible. :o)

Sorry this was so long, but I wanted to make sure I gave you a clear, honest picture and explanation of what is going on down here! I hope it was helpful!

You can also be checking my blog (www.prayformexico.blogspot.com). I update it pretty regularly and I try to keep it up to date with the work we are doing here.

love love love you all!

Kourtney

Many adventures...

So these photos above are from today (Sept 15), mostly, and man... are they funny.

Rosi and Ricardo are a couple that pastor a church in a community called Durango. Their church is Roca Fuerte. They have a pretty sweet children's program going. The kids from the community have memorized a ton of scripture (they actually put me to shame and challenge me to memorize more scripture). The pictures above are of the festivities that took place today with those very same children.

Rosi is completely invested in this ministry and is always conjuring up new ways to minister to them and have events for them. She cares about them so much and it is completely evident in how she works with them. Her heart is a heart for children's ministry and it brings me joy to be able to work alongside her.

So... today, Rosi organized a parade for Mexican Independence Day (which is actually tomorrow, Sept 16). The kids all got dressed up and we drove around the little community beeping our horns and yelling "VIVA MEXICO" (LONG LIVE MEXICO). The kids were SO excited to get all dressed up. The boys dressed up like Emiliano Zapata and the girls mostly wore long skirts and loooooong braids, dressing like the original indigenous women. Rosi let them wear her jewelery and made little sombreros for all the boys. MaryCarmen and I got sombreros too (as you can see in the photos).

It was pretty simple, but Rosi put in so much effort and planning to make this work. The kids truly enjoyed themselves. And it spoke to me of her heart for these kids and how much she really does care for them. So many of the experiences these kids have, they have because of the way God is working in their lives through Rosi. Without her there, they would not otherwise have this wonderful store of experiences.

Then, after the parade, we went to a "lake" and she bought a pinata for the kids to break. We piled tons of kids in our cars to drive out there and played games, took silly photos, broke the pinata, and then had a contest to see who could quote the most scripture. It was great.

The funny little puppet you see with MaryCarmen in the beginning photo and that you see me kissing is Fernando. He's quite the ladies' man. Casey and I found him in the apartments where we were storing a lot of the supplies the groups left for us. While moving the supplies over to the Segundo Piso to organize them, Fernando somehow never left the car. Now, because Casey and I often have occasion to have many people in our car, Fernando has met a good portion of our acquaintences. And above all, he is a GREAT ice-breaker. People jump in the car and he is the FIRST thing they notice. They grab him, ask questions about him, and inevitably someone puts their arm up his back and he comes to life. And the funniest thing is that he has the SAME personality each time. I don't know what it is about this little puppet, but he loves the ladies! Inevitably, he hits on whatever girl is in the car. It is hillarious. Casey and I have resolved to never let him leave the car because when he is around, our lives are never lacking in laughter.

Praise God for funny-looking puppets. Praise God for people with hearts for ministry. Praise God for children who scream "VIVA MEXICO" in little parades. Praise God for pinatas and silly children. Praise God that no one got hurt today. Praise God for pastors with hearts that are truly invested in their ministry. Praise God for pastors, period. Praise God.

OJO!

Hey all! This just in... I added a slideshow on the right-hand side of my blog. It is a rolling show of pictures from here in Mexico to add to your viewing enjoyment. You can look at them here on my blog, OR if you click on it, it will take you to my picasa web album where you can see the larger images. Just a friendly fact for you all. Facebook was not cooperating with uploading, so I figured I'd go with old faithful (good old google) and upload them here instead! :o)

I am in love with google.

... and just in case you can't see the one on the right, here's another... :o)

Much overdue photos

So to the left is our back deck. That big black tank is our clean water. We have to have a guy come fill it once every couple weeks (or when it's low)... haha.





Above is our bedroom a few days after arrival. We tried to make it homey. Haha. With the lack of dressers and nowhere to hang wet towels, we made due with what we had! :)

To the left is the dining hall, our living room. In this pic we have it set up for the group and we're eating Posole with the group from Big Bear, CA.



This is the view to the right of our back balcony. Maneadero is surrounded by mountains. I was told if someone from Montana knew that I was calling these "mountains" that I would get laughed at... but to this jersey girl... these are mountains.


Terrible picture above, but I drive in Mexico. Scary thought, I know. But hey... all those years of driving the burris bus did me good!

To the left, I'm playing guitar... haha. Obvious, huh? I'm learning. I was probably being corrected in this picture, hence the confused face.

Above is our absolutely very first picture in Mexico. Here we're in Santo Tomas (a very little village town thing in the mountains) at the opening ceremony of a Boys' Home. We'd been up for about 20hrs at this point... haha


On the left I'm sitting wit Lydia, a young girl from the church in Ruben's neighborhood. We went to Awana and I was helping her memorize her scripture. She speaks english and spanish and it was really fun to get to share with her in both languages. She's a really sweet girl!


On the right above is the "stage" at the opening ceremony at the Boys' Home. Miguel is on guitar, his wife, Adriana is in the dress, Leyda is in the green pants and Sammy, her husband, is on piano. Little did I know that these were the very people I would be seeing on a regular basis and hanging out with for a year!


So there you have it... a little taste of Mexico. There are more pics on Facebook, but senz explanations. :o)

Forever far from those you love...

So Matt Peace came to visit us last week. He wanted to check in, see how we were doing and get to know us a little better. Matt Peace is the director of Short Term Missions with the Christian and Missionary Alliance.

As we were talking about this experience, what we (Casey and I) should expect, and how we are currently feeling, he told us that from this point on in our lives, no matter where we are, we will be far from people that we love. It sounded a little funny to me, but he explained himself: While we are here in Mexico, we are far from all those we love at home, but once we go back home, we will be far from those we have come to love here in Mexico. So from this moment on in our lives, we will live far away from people we love, whether they are our families or those with whom we have grown relationships while doing missions.

As I get to know the people here, share my heart with them and get to see more of their hearts, I realize the truth in what Matt shared with us. I can see myself growing to really love these people and appreciate them in all their uniqueness. There are so MANY different people here, and each of them bring something so beautiful to the body of Christ, whether it is their passion for service, their passion for the word, their passion for honest and healthy relationships, passion for children, or even just their good sense of humor... these people are working their way into my heart. I could feel it from the first moment I met them... but each day, it grows and grows...

Tonight we went for the first time to Gabriel's church. He is a young pastor, the youngest of all 7, and has the smallest congregation. They just celebrated their 1 year anniversary as a church on Saturday and were SO excited to be able to declare a year together in the Lord.

When we got there, Gabriel's face LIT UP! It was one of the absolute warmest welcomes we have received here in Mexico. He had only met us once before when we stopped by to meet him with Tammie. It was a VERY brief intro, and then we left. So tonight, we actually got to talk to him, meet his wife, fellowship with the few people from his congregation and then particiapte in their worship service. It was such a blessing to be there with them. He has a great sense of humor and really has a passion for the word of God. He really wants to challenge his congregation and with God's help, does a good job.

We got to hear his brother preach on Saturday night at a youth conference, and it is quite obvious that the good sense of humor and gift of preaching runs in the family.

Gabriel's parents are part of his congregation and they are an obvious support to him. They sat right in the front and offered confirming AMENs and ALELUYAs throughout the service. It was nice to get to talk to them and get to know them as well.

This congregation is little, but passionate. Gabriel's passion for the word is contageous and he clearly loves the people God has put in his path.

I'm really excited to see what God does with this congregation in the next year. Gabriel's wife was talking about starting a service of "pura alabanza", meaning just praise. She was really excited about it and hopes to get it off the ground in a few weeks. We shall see....

In the meantime, Casey and I are praying about where God would have us working once Rick and Tammie get back. Our time right now is to be dedicated to getting to know the people in the different churches and asking God where He wants us and where He wants to use us. So many of the churches are doing such wonderful things that I'm not even sure what I have to offer them. I can offer them my love and support... and any counsel I have for them would most definitely come from God, not me, because I really have nothing to offer.

Thank you all for your prayers and emails and updates on your lives... I really appreciate being able to stay connected to home.

PS- I made Grandmom's tomato sauce and had it for dinner tonight with Casey. :o) It was yummy. A little taste of home...

Corn Flakes

So the people here can't say my name... at all. The bane of my existence is that I speak Spanish, but all native speakers have a heck of a time saying my name.

So Ricardo, one of the pastors, started calling me Corn Flakes because he can't remember Kourtney. So he's assimilating it to something he DOES know in order to remember it...

I called him corn flakes back... hopefully this doesn't stick

Smooth like buttah

So I've decided that instead of trying to capture the entire experience in writing, I'm going to share stories as I go. Some will be silly. Some will be significant. Some will be profound. Some will be just plain beautiful.

Tonight I want to share with you about my first experiences DRIVING in Mexico. Once I got here, I knew i would be driving at least a little bit because rick and Tammie told us as much. Chuck had mentioned perhaps going out on a test drive in the van we are using to ease into the driving here. Mind you, driving in Mexico is not for the faint of heart. There are virtually NO rules. People fly all over the road and make turns when they shouldn't, zip out into the "highway" and nearly hit pedestrians on a regular basis. Just being IN a car here is an experience, let alone being the one driving!

So I knew I'd be driving because Casey expressed concern and fear about driving the van (very old, very boxy, very big vehicle that is ours to use for the year), while I informed Rick and Tammie that i am one of 6 and that I drove a suburban for a number of years. So my experience and fearless attitude (haha) gained me the position of chofer.

I wasn't expecting to have to drive until later on this week because Rick and Tammie just left today and Chuck is still here. BUT, Monday, Casey and I were over at R&T's doing laundry and hanging out when Tammie got a phonecall from Rick asking her to meet him at the mechanic's, and to bring me so I could bring the van back to the house.... baptism by fire. :)

Casey and I prayed before we pulled out into the street... but not until after i was made fun of (in a friendly, jovial sort of way) by the guys working at the mechanic's who were watching me try to make a K-turn in their little space so I wouldnt have to back out into the street.

Driving it was really awkward because it is such a big car and the roads here a bad, and the people are crazy. So I was driving like a granny and being very careful... we got home safely.

It was quite an experience... nothing catostrophic happened, but as we were driving I looked over at Casey and said to her,"See, this is one of those things you never envision yourself doing. When I was a kid, I never for one second thought that I would be driving a ridiculously huge van down highway 1 in baja california." We both laughed...

But the real point of this story is to tell you all that I've got this driving in Mexico thing down. There are lots of times when you have to make tight turns, turn around in awkward places, and back out of narrow places without hitting a large variety of objects.

I had two small victories today...

1) I backed out of the small space behind our apartment while being wedged in by another van, a sedan, 4 garbage cans, and cement fencing... all this was done with a great deal if finess and without getting as much as a scratch on the car...

2) We have to turn around each time we come out of R&T's house b/c it is a dead end. They live right at the very end of the road and it is quite narrow. The K-turn to be made usually involves going forward and then in reverse at LEAST 3 times because the space is so small... but I have gotten sooooo good that I juxt whipped around, reversed once, and did that turn... :o) And as we completed the turn, I looked over at Casey and said, "Smooth like buttah"... because that's what I am..

hahahahahaah. I crack myself up... Driving in mexico is quite an adventure...