As we wait upon the Lord

Last night, we had prayer at Faustino's--it was Tuesday, and it was what we do on Tuesdays. Faustino is in Tijuana helping out the new District Superintendent, Roberto, along with the other Pastors on a construction project. In his absence, Tomasa lead the prayer meeting. I'd never been to a prayer meeting that Tomasa lead before, but I shouldn't have been surprised when she ran it differently, because everyone has their own way of doing things.

She invited me to pray to start the meeting off and as I prayed I asked God to open our ears and hearts to receive what He may have for us in the time of prayer. I felt like God had something to say to us in our time of prayer and I didn't want to miss it.

Before praying, we read Psalm 6:

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?

Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.

No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.

My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.

Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.

The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.

All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.

Tomasa asked us all to focus in on one verse that spoke to us as we read and share what we understood as we read it. I shared verse 9: The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;/ the Lord accepts my prayer. It really spoke to me because it is a declaration of answered prayer, a prayer that was a pleading to God for rescue. It doesn't pretend to be anything it is not, it just lays out the weakness and waits for God to answer.

After, we all shared our prayer requests and then each were assigned a person to lift up in prayer. I was assigned to pray for Tomasa. Her prayer requests were for her daughter Lily's marriage, her family in general, Faustino, her grandkids, her spiritual life, and healing. Tomasa has a weak heart and is fatigued quickly and often. On top of that, she gets what she calls "aching bones" (dolor de huesos). The only parallel I can find is the pain you feel when you have a fever and your whole body just hurts.

Tomasa has been battling with these ailments since long before I ever met her. It hurts my heart to see her suffer like this because I love her. It also hurts because I know the impact she has for the Kingdom when she's feeling well, and I hate knowing that loss. When Tomasa is in action, she is such a force that she could just run her way through a brick wall!

As I pray for Tomasa, I tell God how frustrated I am that she is still sick. I tell God that I don't understand why He still has not healed her, but also tell him that I know He knows what He's doing. I ask him for patience and faith in His plan for Tomasa and ask for Him to be glorified. I want healing now, but if it needs to come later or not at all to glorify God more, then I want that more.

We are waiting on the Lord for healing. We are waiting on the Lord. As I prayed and proclaimed that we are waiting on Him, the song Everlasting God came to my heart. I started singing and really meditating about what it is to wait on the Lord and how strength rises as we wait on him. In all honesty, I didn't come to any great conclusions other than remembering what Tara Powers shared about waiting meaning expecting something to happen. You don't just wait for nothing, you wait because you know something is going to happen. So as we wait, we know God is going to do something great and we wait because what God is going to do is far greater than what we would have done. I think in the end that brings strength because there is strength in God's actions and we are strengthened in faith as we see Him act.

Last night I committed to waiting on the Lord for Tomasa. I told God that I want His will to be done and that I expect him to act to glorify Himself, even if that means not healing her now or ever. I truly want that.

Tonight, Lily, Tomasa's daughter, showed up at the Second Floor and informed us that Tomasa is in the hospital again. It hurt my heart, but I remembered what I had said to God and what He had said to me--wait on the Lord. So while I don't know what's going on here, with Tomasa, or with my Aunt Sissy, or with Uncle Jerry, Aunt Irene, or Christy, I wait on the Lord to act, because He will be glorified in the end, and I pray to that end. I invite you to pray that with me for all of these cases. I don't understand why they are sick or what is being accomplished by it all, but I trust God does, and He's gonna work it out.